and that is that you have been unable to find a (large enough, birdman and I understand you perhaps?) group of people who understands and accepts you

And i never will, they simply don’t exist this much, you think there is people like you? Doesn’t hate a person who speaks the way i do? and immediately go away? even you went away when you knew me, and i can understand why.

How to find a larger group that can understand and accept you without exacting the price of you dropping your values and your persona/ individuality? I don’t know.

I do, I’ve been living my life and thinking about this for a long time, and i give up on this need, the need to belong, im not longer a slave to it, yes i still have it but not much, i control it, instead of it controls me, i will never let a feeling or a need control my actions or change my goals in life

 I see a lot of misery.

I see a lot of misery too, i never said they are happy, it just that thier not alone with this misery

I was able to see that I only imagined that everyone else was mentally healthy

In iraq? I really don’t think there is healthy people, since most parents doesn’t even know what they are doing, and doesn’t know there is a mental side to human beings, you might thought that i mix mental illness with normies, that norimes are healthy, no, it doesn’t really matter what is his health issues, as long that he doesn’t see a problem with society, doesn’t mind fitting in and doing what everybody doing, say and think like everyone, thats a norime, even if he doesn’t do that and go intepented but then come with the same values and beliefs as a norime, then he is a norime, this is no hasty generalization, this is just a label to divide people, to see the ones that can understand me and the ones that can’t, the ones that worth wasting time on, usually i really don’t care if a person is a norime or not

you are a human

Yes i am, but i refuse to let my human self control me, tell me what to do and what not to do, i rebel

it is impossible for any human to refuse one’s programming

I just did :P, although its part of my programming, still though

I was too alone and too lonely for so long, with so much pain inside,

Wish i knew you back then, maybe you wouldn’t feel so lonely, but i doubt it, i would imagine a young girl alone, in somewhere in the middle east, suffering in silent, not knowing what to do.

I think that lifetime happiness is a myth

It sounds like you had such belief, when you were young, that you can be happy for a lifetime and good everyday.

but happy- no

What would it takes then? To be happy? Because the word happiness really means different things to different people, for me? I actually don’t like to say that word, its silly word that doesn’t say anything, i like to use contentment, joy, plasure, they describe what we wanna say accurately, i actually perfer dopamine instead of happiness, since its the closest thing that makes us “happy”

once people become rigid, they do fit in with other rigid people who rigidly hold on to the same ideas, no matter what evidence is presented to them

I remember i once talked to a female, and she was a Muslim, she had some ideas different from what quran said about women, i presented evidence to her, to help her see the truth, she actually was convinced that its her problem, have some doubts but it must be her understanding, its funny because no matter what i say or do, she won’t drop the belief (quran is perfect), its on the highest of her beliefs, and she dropped her logic, just because everyone believes in the same god, and she must comply, i remember she told me that i must try to fit in society, she was trying too, and i believe she gonna be miserable since she have a somehow a different mindset, but eventually she will fit in, and do what everybody does, she was already on this path,

this is what you mean by different people, but i say it doesn’t really matter how different they are, if they drop thier difference for society, for thier needs and desires, then they are by my definition a norime, i hated the fact that she dropped her logic and mind for society ideas, i would kill myself before i even accept anything from society, even the tiniest things, and this is a recipe for misery.

That was my “normie”/ rigid brain defending what’s already there

I have some normie ideas myself, i like the fact that you not only agree with me, but maybe believe me? Or you are just talking to me in my own language?, both possibilities shows how great of a person you are

By the way, i think norimes win, by fitting in into society and living life just like everybody, without thinking a lot, even if they have some difference with society, difference that doesn’t hold them back, i wish i had that ability, i see them as better in that regard, to be able to change, its more like evolution, fit in to survive, some doesn’t struggle much because they already have a programming that fit into society, programming made by society, some have difficulty but still do it, and then me, the one that refuses to fit in, a loser really if you ask me, not by society definition, but a loser by not even trying to fit in, not only im gonna be a loser now, but maybe for my whole life, with this mindset? Please, i won’t get so far, there is gonna be a time where im gonna beg for death, already happened before, and still here, still f**king here.