Hi everyone (and especially Anita!),

I spoke primarily to Anita about this issue of whether to have a second child or not about a year ago. I wanted to update her about my current thoughts on the matter and receive her insight as best as she is able. Basically, my son is now almost 2.5 years old. I’m overall feeling much more confident about parenting than I was last year, although this has been a rough week for me due to potty training and a sleep regression. My husband and I had been thinking about trying for a second child later this summer. I’d been feeling more ready and capable, but then received some distressing family news that has my anxiety at higher levels again. I suppose my basic question, is are my anxiety levels too high to be in an emotionally healthy spot to have a second? If that makes sense….

To remind Anita, I had a really difficult pregnancy which included extreme nausea/vomiting I had to go to the hospital to be on IV fluids, and had to stay on medication for it the entire pregnancy. Among many other ailments. I assume the same would happen with a second pregnancy. Childbirth was also traumatic and resulted in an emergency c-section. I was told I would have to have a c-section in all subsequent pregnancies, although hopefully a scheduled one would be less traumatic than the one I had…. in theory at least.

Overall, my anxiety had been much better the past few months. Trump was no longer president, and we were finding our way out of the pandemic. But these family issues really go to me recently. Lond story short, my parents object to my sister’s boyfriend for a variety of reasons but also because he is black (I find it very upsetting that my parents are this racist). My sister is pretty much estranged from them now and my Dad is so upset about it, he has been admitted to the hospital several times for heart issues due to extreme stress. I know it’s not *my* issue per se, but it still affects me mentally. I wish it didn’t.

But anyway, I am 33 years old so I feel I can’t push this issue of a 2nd child off for too much longer. I don’t want my family issues to be the reason I don’t have a 2nd child, but I also worry that my mental health won’t be able to handle the family drama, the pregnancy issues, and also be a present and happy mom for my son. Very interested to know your thoughts, Anita and thank you so much in advance!

• This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by Charlie.