Dear Anita

Thank you for your reply. It seems to me that you gone through a lot yourself and its commendable that you have a come a long way. Your strength and resilience sounds astounding.

The path of no contact as you said has its own hardships. Having very recently, experienced that with my younger sister, after reaching a tipping point, it seems very liberating. I believe I may feel slight remorse or guilt after few months but I do know having done that with my sister, I feel so much at mental peace. But it feels very hard to do so with my own mother.

I was mulling over why my husband could hope against hope that things will be alright with my mother. Then, I realised I was that  same hopeful person as a tweenager and even a young adult. I thought if I did this, it would make my mum happy again. If my father won a big contract, she would be happy. Why, when I was in my early twenties and when my sister( aged 14) ran away from home after a confrontation with my mother and attempted to end her life by walking into the ocean (She was spotted by beach patrol and rescued)…I had this hope than my mother would change her behaviour. My parents would act more like adults!

I believe one cannot help a person who doesn’t want to help oneself for a prolonged period of time. My husband sometimes tells me to treat my mother like a patient and discount her behaviour. But, I do not have the professional training to do so and as Pink pointed out in her post…It’s hard to keep my guard up!

I am now going to begin by minimising my calls with my mother and see how it goes. Thank you for all your help in guiding me.

Cheers

Namaste87