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back to controlling mom’s house at age 30?! 23 missed calls while on date!!

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  • July 29, 2021 at 3:44 pm #383675
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear D:

    I understand your frustration about no longer having your own place, and your mom re-arranging the furniture in your room and refolding your clothes, etc. And calling you 23 times- she must have been terrified that something happened to you!

    All in all, I don’t see any malice on her part, from what you shared so far. If she was in your home rearranging your furniture and refolding your clothes etc., that would be weird and alarming. Not so alarming it being her home, where she has been in the habit of doing what she is doing for years, maybe decades.

    When you found out that she cut your daughter’s hair without your permission, I imagine that you told her to not do that again. If she listens to you and no longer repeats this particular act- that’s a good thing. Does she listen to your input and correct some of her behavior?

    anita

    July 30, 2021 at 12:31 am #383688
    Tee
    Participant

    Dear D,

    I am finding it hard to deal with her controlling personality and with the emotional weight of moving back to my mom’s house at age 30.

    Has she been controlling in your childhood too? Because her actions could be seen as well-meaning, e.g. if she has a lot of time on her hands and she wants to make it as comfortable for you as possible, and then she re-arranges the furniture etc. But even so, I guess the fact that she didn’t tell you beforehand and didn’t ask for your opinion, is a warning sign.

    She might believe she knows better, and doesn’t respect your opinion or your preferences. And this can be hard to deal with, specially if you’re in a fragile place emotionally at the moment, and could use her support rather than this subtle form of dismissal (if this is what you feel is happening?)

     

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