Dear Karma:

You had a ten year relationship with a guy. This relationship was like the ground you walked on: sometimes it was solid and you were happy (“the luckiest girl in the world”), at other times it shook and you were unhappy (“waiting for his attention… he.. was always irritated and angry at me”), but when he broke up with you, it is like he took away the ground from underneath you, and you are falling.

Sometimes you hold on to something and you “feel everything’s gonna be fine”, at other time you forget to hold on to something and you keep falling, “feel that my life is over”.

“please help me as how can one forget someone with whom they have been for a decade“- you need a new ground under your feet, so that you can feel safe enough. It will take time and patience to make it happen. First, don’t contact him anymore. Second, spend your time connecting with other people who are supportive/ kind to you.

Third, reduce your anxiety while you wait for the new ground under your feet: build a daily routine for yourself, so that you do the same things every day at about the same times. Make aerobic exercise (ex. fast walking) part of your daily routine. Try guided meditations which you can download for free. Look at the home page under BLOG, “Mindfulness & Peace”- there is a lot of information there.

When you feel like “life is over”, say to yourself: it only feels like life it over, it is not really over. This feeling is not forever: I will feel better later. Say it to yourself because it is true.

And post here anytime and I will reply to you every time you post.

anita