Dear Damien:

I think that it is very important that you don’t disturb her visit to see her mother- not the part before her  visit and not the visit itself. Therefore, better that you don’t contact her until after she returns from her visit.

Next, figure out if you really need to get your belongings from her flat: maybe she can mail you some small belongings of sentimental value, and sell or donate other belongings: that will save you the cost of the travel there.

After she returns from her visit to her mother, ask her when would be a good time for you to come over and remove your belongings from her flat (if you really need those). Let her know that you will be staying in a hotel room (do not tell her that you are considering staying in a hotel room, hoping that she will invite you to stay in her tiny flat). When you see her in person, ask her if she still feels the same as when she told you the following: “I just don’t see any future together. You still need to do a lot of work. It’s been seven years. I just can’t anymore”, “I think it’s time to let each other go. I don’t think it’s possible for us to turn back together”, “If you really appreciate me, please just let me go. It will relief for both of us”.

If she answers you with: yes, I still feel this way, then RESPECT her and stop pursuing her. Let her go, just as she asked you to do. Have compassion for her, and give her the relief that she asked for!!!

If she answers you with a no, ask her how does she feel, and let me know what she says.

anita