Dear TeaK,

Thank you once again for ur reply.

“You’re by far not an exception, and in fact, it’s great that you’re going through this self-discovery phase pretty early on in life, at 22. You’re very much on time, Felix, so trust me when I say that you haven’t missed anything and you aren’t late for anything. In fact, you’re doing it earlier than many of your colleagues will.“

“I know that right now it’s difficult because of covid, but it will get better, so don’t give up on your plan and your desire.“

= Actually after a year in my uni days, my uni duration is 3 years…. It was in 2018, i can go abroad that time as i’ve just finished my diploma…. So my uni is 1 year diploma and 2 years of degree…. My uni is located only 45 mins by boat from my city…

I even discussed with my parents that time, i was only 19 back then…. And they even consider it…. At that time i plan to study abroad to japan… but if i go to japan, i’ll have to study their language first before taking a degree there….
I feel worried back then, as if i go to japan… most of my friends/peers are gonna graduate earlier than me…. And i dont wanna be left out…. Then i chose to continue my degree in that city…. So i’m going to graduate at the same time with my peers. It was a really bad decision…. I was really affected by my peers…

My self confidence at that time was extremely low too…. I feel afraid to live alone that time…

How i wished that i have no friends in that period… so i wont get affected and know what i want…. And I was also blinded by love with that “girl”….. I wish i separated with her sooner…. It was a really waste of time….

I feel like i cant forgive my peers, it’s been lots of days since i talk to any of my friends….

I know that you’ve told me that it’s great that i’m going through this self-discovery pretty early at 22…. I just wanna share this regret as it still feels sad, because i didnt took a good opportunity back then…

I shouldn’t have stick to the rules right? Like general people usually graduate bachelor at 21-22, starting their first job before 24…..

e.g. Even if i never had my first job and still wanna experience my study life/pursuing my studies at 24, it’s still fine right? (i just wanna make myself more assured with my mindset 😂). I really wanna convince myself with a strong mentality, because all this time i really have a weak mentality that i’m easily swayed by other people’s opinion.

I really really really hope that starting today, i can live on my life the way i wanted…. So i wont have to experience any more regrets…