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Reply To: When Addiction becomes a mechanism to cope stress..

HomeForumsTough TimesWhen Addiction becomes a mechanism to cope stress..Reply To: When Addiction becomes a mechanism to cope stress..

#385944
ABHILASH
Participant

Thank you Anita and Linarra for your kind words.

The problem actually started three years back when I got my first job in a plantations company. The initial days were good. They provided me with an individual quarters, isolated and serene, amidst a coffee plantation atop a hill. The problem was that I was alone, like completely detached from the outside world. As days passed by, the job become increasingly stressful, with a very toxic work culture. After my work hours, when I reached home, there was nothing that I looked up to. There was no one to talk to, nowhere to release my stress. Everyday, I wake up, bathed, ate, went to work, came back and slept; and the next day the same cycle began. Each night, I think of somehow moving away from this place, to something meaningful but when I wake up again, I feel soul less. Nothing interests me. So each night I indulge in porn. Some days, even I don’t know why I’m watching this, but I continue to do so because at least for that time, I feel relaxed, and not stressed. But the next day, I am shadowed by self-denial and thoughts of how I could have been better, how I can reclaim my life if I could try the least bit. But the moment I face a tiny bit of stress, I again get sucked back into porn. I have tried writing stories which have helped quite a bit, but not that much.