Forum Replies Created
September 8, 2021 at 11:45 pm #385984
Dear Linarra and Anita,
As you mentioned, now I am trying new means to change the environment around me. The good news is, I have a pet dog! And now he has become my emotional sanctuary. Seeing him, playing with him and taking him for walks have made me emotionally stable for the past few days (however not fully).
Now I have started to focus more on my body by exercising and running. This sure has helped me because, each night I have a slight feeling of contentment that I have done good to my body, at the least. The next day, I have something to look forward to, as well. However, I couldn’t maintain a constant schedule for my training as there are obvious downfalls. Some days I skip, some days I do. But I’m really hopeful that this will help to keep my mind focused.
Meanwhile, I am trying other avenues for jobs and somehow move out of this place.September 7, 2021 at 11:38 pm #385944
Thank you Anita and Linarra for your kind words.
The problem actually started three years back when I got my first job in a plantations company. The initial days were good. They provided me with an individual quarters, isolated and serene, amidst a coffee plantation atop a hill. The problem was that I was alone, like completely detached from the outside world. As days passed by, the job become increasingly stressful, with a very toxic work culture. After my work hours, when I reached home, there was nothing that I looked up to. There was no one to talk to, nowhere to release my stress. Everyday, I wake up, bathed, ate, went to work, came back and slept; and the next day the same cycle began. Each night, I think of somehow moving away from this place, to something meaningful but when I wake up again, I feel soul less. Nothing interests me. So each night I indulge in porn. Some days, even I don’t know why I’m watching this, but I continue to do so because at least for that time, I feel relaxed, and not stressed. But the next day, I am shadowed by self-denial and thoughts of how I could have been better, how I can reclaim my life if I could try the least bit. But the moment I face a tiny bit of stress, I again get sucked back into porn. I have tried writing stories which have helped quite a bit, but not that much.September 6, 2021 at 3:15 pm #385824
I have been following TinyBuddha for a while now and I am really getting hope and pleasure in reading the various thoughts presented here. Moreover, being an introvert, this is the first time I have actually reached out to someone who is completely unaware to me. I happened upon this topic today and I really wanted your help on some of the things I am facing right now.