Dear Neera:

You are welcome and thank you for your appreciation!

“Sometimes even when my partner and I have minor disagreements, I assume the worst and my anxiety kicks in“- it is very important that there will be no arguments/ no fights between you and your partner, no aggression at all. Disagreements really can be resolved with zero aggression. There are workbooks and books and online resources on how to communicate effectively and resolve conflicts without aggression. I will be glad to try and help you with any specific situation, if you’d like to share about a current or future disagreement with your partner.

“I started living with my partner 9 months ago. The issue is that I still live close to my family. I still visit nearly twice a week… But being at home I feel anxious and I have noticed that the days I am at home or when I return I am particularly more anxious. The problem is that I do not know when my family will have no fights at all“-

– good to read that you are no longer living at home, but it is bad for your mental health to visit your home of origin as you’ve done so far, not knowing if and when the  next fight will occur. Do you think it will help if you make it very clear to everyone in your family of origin’s household that there must be no disagreements and no fights while you are vising, and explain to them why: that it harms your mental health and your relationship with your partner. (You can even reward them all with .. let’s say $100 a month if they succeed to accommodate you in this regard, if they need extra motivation)

anita