It’s not at all mate everyone has different perceptions of what’s happened, at the end of the day its horrible what’s happened but it sounds like you’ve coped better than she has which to me is a normal turn of events with genders, just hang in there mate things will work themselves out, it’s neither yours fault and its not pleasant but there’s nothing that can change what’s happened, as I say a significant memorable break would be an idea in my head and then go on from there to discuss your plan of action to start a family, it’ll be okay bro don’t panic