Dear Ryan,

welcome back, good to hear from you! How did the move go? Are you satisfied with your new job?

As I said, I don’t question your words, I trust that you wouldn’t invent these things, but that truly, the women you are attracted to are quite similar (perhaps professionally successful, but emotionally insecure, with low self-esteem, sometimes depressed). And that they see you as a great guy, but you don’t see yourself as one, and after a while you leave.

The other problem seems to be that you can’t seem to get to the root of your emotional problems (specially “lack of empathy and lack of feelings of love”), and that you don’t recall anything disturbing from your childhood, which might have led to those problems:

I am filled with sadness and pain. I have never found out why. 15 years have passed since I first walked into a therapists office, and while I’ve learned techniques to manage my depression, I’ve never been able to find it’s possible emotional roots.

I hoped he could unlock some memories from my childhood that may be have hindered my emotional growth.

Do you really not recall any instances where you felt hurt by either of your parents? Or where you felt scared, or misunderstood, or treated unfairly? Do you remember your childhood pretty well, or do you feel there are large parts missing and you don’t have memory of it?