Hi Care,

Could you make a list of your insecurities or fears? Not being a good enough teacher is one. Add more to that list.

Imagine another person with all those qualities being true, being a bad teacher, etc. While there is room for improvement or let’s say there are qualities that can’t be changed, that person still deserves to have good experiences and experience joy, no? Give yourself space to separate your weaknesses from who you are. The sooner you realize you are no less or more than anyone else, the faster you can get to addressing the hole. You will feel enough.

Self-esteem is that to me, it is not to be perfect or expect to become perfect, but to accept yourself as you are and do your best in life. When you decide you are worthy, your mind will follow suit.

You may have some things to improve on, let the need to improve come from a place of love and feeling secure. You can then create goals for yourself and work on them.

I feel you are split into 2. You feel suppressed being forced to take these responsibilities and doing this job but at the same time you want to do well at this job and feel you are not enough. Write out what you want to be as a teacher and who you would be if you weren’t a teacher. If there is something else you want to do, plan a long term for achieving that and factor in your current job and how you want to function as a teacher in your short term. This will energize you. Also, investigate why you want to do well in your job. The answer to what you are hoping to get from doing well, might be what you feel is missing, what the hole signifies.