Dear TeaK,

I arrived in my new city last weekend and have slowly been getting my place set up. I have my intake appointment with the mental health clinic tomorrow morning, so I’m hoping to get an appointment in a week or two.

The woman I left behind is dealing with the aftermath of my departure as best she could. She laments that should never have pushed for more knowing I was leaving and couldn’t offer more due to circumstances, to wishing I had not wasted her time believing we’d have a future. I tried to explain that I need to focus solely on myself and deal with the “emotional neglect” and difficulty forming attachments, and while she tried to be understanding, she is upset–to say the least. She regrets “every stupid day.” It’s hard to explain my feelings when love and emotions are involved, but she does not want to speak to me ever again. I cannot do this to another woman, so I know that I must get help.

I feel the anxiety came from the move itself and my relocation to a new city. However, it was a successful move and I’ve tried to fight the darkness and stay productive preparing the inside of my home. I did enroll at a local gym here and signed up for a Meetup account. With any luck, I can make some friends soon…and be open with them.

Ryan