if you were in 1st place as a child, being very loved and supported, and then you learned to stick up for yourself since school, why did you brush off the warning signs with your now husband, why did you not tell your family about those warning signs and then, with their support, not marrying him?

Probably because I didn’t want them to be true, so I just told myself in my head it was all fine. So I never openly discussed it with family. I also thought to myself that probably most people have these issues in a relationship. Everyone argues, everyone has disagreements you just have to work at it.  The thing I wish I would’ve flagged up to myself more was the way in which his sister’s involve themselves in their siblings relationships. I saw this happening and I didn’t think to myself what it would be like if we were married and in fact if it would be worse which it was especially after having kids. Also if I ever spoke to my future husband about my father-in-law’s comments I was always told he was just joking and that I’m being over sensitive, he was like it with everyone. So for a long time I doubted the worries I had as me being paranoid or over sensitive so I never mentioned it to my family.