Hi Arie,

I have been reading your posts but didn’t feel I could contribute a lot.

I have had relationships where I have become over-attached way too soon, and have remained anxiously attached. These relationships caused me so much mental and emotional anguish. In the end though, I have had to break away from them and work on myself.

If you read articles online about attachment styles, we often attach ourselves to people who are avoidant.

I was in a relationship around 5 years with somebody who came out and told me he is avoidant. He never wanted to change though and any relationship with him would have to be on his terms of simply accepting his avoidant personality and having a lifestyle of my own which was very independent of him.

My son and friends came to dislike him very much, and being in a relationship with him became very one-sided and lonely.

I wasted too many years and needless to say, I can’t get those years back and perhaps have met somebody more suitable. In fact, all of my life, I just went from one bad relationship to another.

You sound young, and likely have a lot more time to get to know yourself, and find out what qualities you re a lot want in a partner.