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Reply To: My sexual past ruining relationships

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#398563
HoneyBlossom
Participant

Hi David,

I’m glad too to read that you have blocked her. People are all different.  I don’t think I would ever cv er have gone as far as she has.  I was in a long-term relationship once and suspected my partner was cheating or SOMETHING.  I found he was strongly connected to another woman so I tracked her down and introduced myself to her  sure enough, he was “chasing” this woman big time.  We compared a lot of notes, and we actually got along very well. The ex denied that he was pursuing the woman.  A year later, similar thing happened with another woman, and she claimed to have been in a committed relationship with him for 4 months.  I simply wiped my hands of him.  I blocked him.  I did not respond to the flowers and notes on my doorstep, and eventually, he went away. One of the best things I ever did.

That ex, at one time near the end of the relationship had wanted to “choose a man for me to have a one night stand with”   I flat out refused.  At the end of the day, in these matters we make our own choices and have to take responsibility for them.  He isn’t the only man who wanted me to do similar.  Frankly, the idea of that sort of thing revolted me, and I won’t compromise that part of myself for anyone.

These days, I am much happier without any men in my life (in an intimate way).  If I was younger, I might feel differently. I don’t buy it that she is just hurt.  I think she has her own issues, but best for you to simply move on and don’t buy into any of this.

I think and hope you have learnt a lot from this, and hope you continue with your therapist.