Thank you all again. Here are some responses to the replies I’ve received thus far.

Helcat: thank you for the advice. I’m going to try and change up my schedule and try different things. I do a lot of reports and essays and such which get really taxing (5-6 a week) . I have trouble putting my copious amount of thoughts into words- especially words that make sense. My points don’t often come across the way I want them to. and so I guess I delay things that require energy because I don’t have that much of it to begin with- I’m scared of failure and have a short attention span haha. I have trouble following self implemented plans and schedules but due dates scare me and I’ve never had a late assignment. I suspect I have adhd but there’s not much you can do about it. I’m going to actively think of ways I benefit from each assignment- I really like that idea. Thank you

Anita: Wow. You got it Anita. My dad isn’t a fan of his job. He has trouble with work-home boundaries and he takes on everyone else’s jobs which makes him bitter at them because he has trouble setting boundaries. He really cares about other people and wants to help- at his own expense – similar to me. He has this weird habit of telling me all the things I need to do and not do. He often contradicts himself and it’s impossible to know what to expect from him.  Eg. The wheel barrow can go upside down beside the shed- then a few weeks later he’d tell me having the wheel barrow upside down is killing the grass and what am I  thinking! He’s constantly giving me ‘tasks’ Eg: it smells in here that tells me you didn’t clean well enough, these dishes are greasy you didn’t put enough soap on the water, you haven’t been doing a good job cleaning the barn, I have very few expectations of you and you are not doing a good job with . my mom is almost opposite she is very predictable and I can often avoid upsetting her- she doesn’t upset easily to begin with tho. It gives me anxiety that I cannot avoid getting into conflict with him. I was wondering if there was some way I could heal my hurt feelings without apology from the one who caused the hurt? I sometimes have trouble letting go of feelings in fear that I’ll just go numb into depression like I was in high school. Thank you so much Anita I really appreciate all of your help.