Dear Lindsey:

Jason- your boyfriend of 8 months- planned a last minute trip with you to Wisconsin and billed you for half of it. It became a possibility that Aiden would have a baseball game on Sunday, 30 minutes away. You were hoping that Jason would want to meet your kids at the game (for the first time), but he said that he would “walk around with the dogs” while you watch the game.  Jason didn’t post any pictures from the trip on his Facebook page.

At this point, you are wondering if dating Jason is worth your time, energy and  money (“I spend a good amount of money dating Jason with food etc. In fact after he planned the trip he asked me for $250 for my half”). You don’t feel that you are currently in-love with him or that you are having  “the anxious attachment issues… down from a 10 to a 2 or 3” (Lexapro has a part in making it so).

My thoughts this Monday, Aug 8, 2022: although Jason is an improvement over previous dating prospects, in my mind, he is not good enough for  you. I do not like him billing you for half of all the dating expenses. I do not like it that he doesn’t post photos with you on Facebook (where he is in the habit of posting photos of himself and other people in his day to day life…?), and I don’t like it that he wasn’t at all motivated- so it seems- to meet your kids for the first time, not even being curious as to how they look in-person?

If I was you, I’d tell him how I feel about the three topics (the billing, Facebook, meeting kids) and see what happens: will he ignore what you tell him, acting as if you didn’t say anything, or will he address your concerns and suggest any possible solution to any of your concerns. And then, take it from there. BUT if you choose to do this, you have to be prepared for the WAITING part, a period of hours or days when you do NOT text him. I don’t know if you are able to wait for his reaction- or lack of.

If you do not express your feelings to him about these 3 topics, there is no reason for him to make ANY CHANGES in the relationship and the status quo will continue.

anita