Dear anonymous:

I am not saying that your parents were cruel. From the little you shared, they sound like much better parents than I had. What I am saying is that it is very, very difficult to raise children without making some significant mistakes as parents. All it takes is a mother to be very judgmental, not of her own daughter, but of other people (neighbors, family members, even TV actors), to cause the daughter to fear making mistakes and to over-react when making mistakes.

“she’s very moral too and I’ve always admired this about her… I disappointed my partner and violated my own moral code“- you violated your moral code but you didn’t change into an immoral person. There is a difference between making a mistake and being a mistake (or becoming a mistake). Making a mistake does not make you a mistake: every moral person (even your mother) makes mistakes, and sometimes, significant mistakes. Please accept your humanity: accept the fact that you made a mistake and that you will make more mistakes in the future (not this particular one, I suppose).

Even the bible who many look up to as the source of morality, says that everyone, every single person, makes mistakes:  “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).

anita