Buddhist Wife,

I honestly don’t have any real suggestions just my experience. I started dealing with anxiety attacks just last year and have had severe nightmares for most of my life. I became anxious when a doctor diagnosed me with allergic asthma. Being worried that I couldn’t breath caused anxiety. It was scary when I couldn’t distinguish an asthma attack from an anxiety attack. When I dug deeper, the core of my anxiety was in realizing that there were things despite of my efforts that were beyond my control such as having asthma. Although I haven’t had an asthma attack in a while, having my inhaler with me along with a leopard skin jasper stone (Shaman’s stone) brings me comfort and calms me. Maybe you should find something to carry with you that brings a sense of security. I bet your lack of medicine has robbed some of that security from you.

For me, I kinda feel like the anxiety is really pent up energy in my body. So vigorous activity really helps me both physically and mentally. It is strange how there are some activities that can soothe my anxiety but then they become anxiety provoking activities. This happens when I tend to worry about all the what ifs. I took up rock climbing which I really enjoyed for a while. However, a new person belayed me and he almost dropped me when I slipped. Since then I have been feeling anxious about climbing. I do it still on occasion but really have to focus on my breath and calming my fear. I volunteered at a therapeutic horse riding park. My task was to walk alongside the horse while holding on to a mounted disabled child. I really enjoyed this but became anxious about all the what ifs. What if I drop the child or what if the horse acts up and I can’t gain control of the horse. So I haven’t gone back to that. The pattern that I have noticed is I feel anxious when I allow my mind to race and I don’t focus on the activity at hand. I also get anxious at night especially if I have been sitting all day. The remedy for me is to:

1. Release energy via vigorous exercise

2. Release mental energy by engaging in brain games or puzzles or reading ( I have a lumosity account)

3. Release creative energy by writing, making things, cooking, etc

4. Learn to recognize my threshold, not put too much on my plate

5. Slowly learning to be okay with not being in control and with uncertainty ( The main reason I feel I need to be in control is because I want certainty and stability. My household was unpredictable, uncontrollable and unstable so in order to feel safe I needed to create order.)

6. Handling uncertainty by preparing myself. I acquired the confidence that comes with preparation in order to handle the unknown.. I don’t prepare by building a bomb shelter : )…but I am working on doing internal preparation…gathering the internal strength I need to deal with situations, if sh*t were to hit the fan

7. Learning not to worry about being worried…learning not to feel anxious about being anxious because this usually brings on an anxiety attack

8. Sometimes you just can’t fight it. Sometimes you just need to take a deep breath and say I am feeling anxious. Accept it. Also I was getting to the point where even routine things was causing me anxiety like playing board games with friends (friends I have known for 5-7 years). I almost didn’t want to leave the house. Instead of continuing to avoid events, which was causing me more anxiety, I just started being honest with them. I then discovered that two fellow friends suffered from anxiety. Now I feel supported and like its no big deal if I have an attack in front of them.

9. You seem to be a really caring person. Put that caring and loving energy into volunteering. I remember watching the news and getting really upset too. At times, I would wake up in the middle of the night and pray for all the suffering souls in the world. Sometimes I would even weep for them. I cut the news out entirely. You really don’t have to watch it to remain compassionate to others. This doesn’t mean I tune things out and pretend like the world is a perfect place but I just chose to be informed about what I want to be informed about. I care about certain world events and these are the things l research. Because now versus the past, we are inundated with so much information that it is crucial to filter. You have to for your own sanity.

10. Take a break! Take a walk, a bath, watch something funny! Relax. Make sure to make time to recharge. We charge our phones daily, our computers daily, we refuel our cars often but we forget to recharge. It is important for balance.

11. Trust

I really hope that you find some peace of mind. I am sorry for all the struggles you have had to endure. Sending peace and tranquility your way!

Warm Regards,

Zenhen

Hi Buddhist Wife,

Have you read the book The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron? If you haven’t heard of it or read it, it’s a pretty resourceful book for highly sensitive people and people who interact with highly sensitive people. My therapist actually showed me this book. I found it really help me as it explained pretty much everything that I’ve experienced, so I’m not the only one.

Zenhen has definitely given you some great tools to try to work with! Just take it one day at a time. 🙂

Lucia