Dear Praj:

“He has not been talking logically or at least sensibly…There is actually no neutral party in the scenario who can bring him to senses so that he can talk on some logical term such as my character,  job, values, family… we’ve run out of ideas”-

– Her father is not receptive to LOGIC,  to what is sensible or practical, so better not waste your time trying to use logic (such as that perhaps you have a good job and career prospects) for the purpose of changing his attitude and behavior.

I assume that you are a man of good character, Praj, but her father is not receptive to the value of CHARACTER, so there is no use trying to show him further that you are a man of good character.

Her father operates out of EMOTION: he wants what he wants (to arrange her marriage after she leaves you) and that’s all he cares about: he doesn’t care about his daughter’s emotions or yours. As a matter of fact, he is purposefully hurting his daughter so that he can get what he wants: “he said his daughter is dead to him to her face… looking to break her”.

He is selfishly and emotionally motivated.

He wants power over his daughter, using his position as a father, his religion and caste,  to command his daughter to do what he wants.

“she loves her father a lot“- He is using her love for him against her.

The way to reach her father is not through logic and practicality (unless perhaps you can .. buy his approval of the marriage with enough money…?), and not through weakness, but through emotion and power, since this is the language that he uses. In other words, I suggest that you and your partner speak his language: show him that you are strong and determined. Show him no weakness, do not submit, do not beg for his approval in any way. Be willing to get married without his approval.

anita