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Hi Tricia
It sounds like you’ve been incredibly supportive and don’t deserve the way you are being treat now. Stonewalling – refusing to discuss this issue is a form of abuse. Ignoring you while there are issues with your relationship is once again stonewalling. Lying to you about his trip, aka gaslighting is also a form of abuse.
I think it would be hasty to make any snap decisions about this. Has he already denied cheating on you?
I think the most honest answer you would get is if you messaged the woman in his pictures. I assume that she is tagged and in his friends list somewhere.
I don’t think giving ultimatums is a good strategy. There is a possibility that he may not be cheating. It could be another explanation. An adult man, with children would probably not have an interest in a long distance relationship if they had an in-person relationship. To do both at the same time would take a very cruel and cowardly character. How does your partner usually treat you?
Regardless, the way you are being treat right now is not okay. Good luck figuring it all out. Please take care of yourself through all this stress. ❤️