Dear zaredkhan:

You shared that you had 30 days to study for one exam. Your laptop hard drive broke and it took one week to change the operating system (which controls and manages the hardware of a computer). Then your father.. broke your productivity and focus (which are needed to study) and it took 3-4 days to fix some of the damage he did. Then today, your leg cracked up while walking (can you describe exactly what happened and how it happened, what part of your leg got injured as well as whether you have a history of injury in that part of your leg?)

“Most people claim bad things happen to people because they believe they’re unlucky“- some bad things happen because of bad luck, some bad things happen because of believing one is doomed to be unlucky; other bad things happen because people make them happen, (ex., your father torturing you).

“Why’d I had to go through all these garbage stuffs?” – partly because of bad luck, partly because of people’s bad choices.

“Why can’t my luck be better?“- you  can’t control (as you know) who you were born to, where and into what circumstances you were born, whether there will be a flooding or a heat wave next week… you can control only your choices. I wish that your father chose to control his anger!

“I meditate, chant mantras, do “OM” humming, do yoga! But still these things keep attacking me“- … maybe if your father meditates, chants and hums, maybe he will never torture you ever again!

“I wish I could just leave this world w/o any pain. Why should I live if I’ve to always live with bad luck? (And mental fear as well“- we all wish at times to leave this world, and no one wishes to leave the world with pain (I may be wrong about it…?) You are welcome to share about your mental fear, if you’d like.

anita

*surgery

Dear zaredkhan:

“Why should I try.. when I can’t try with 100%.. ?“- maybe trying with 75% or 50% will do? I mean, try studying as calmly and as patiently as you can, not pressuring yourself.

I don’t know if I just answered your question or not. Please let me know.

anita

Dear zaredkhan,

I am sorry that you had bad luck with your computer, which took away 7 days out of your time to prepare for the exam. Also, that you hurt your leg. Have you had it checked with a doctor, btw? If it’s swollen and you cannot step on it, it could be sprained ankle – you better get an X-ray for that.

It seems you are ambitious and want to perform well in your studies, but you feel there are forces against you that are preventing you. And that no matter how hard you try, you’ll never succeed.

I understand your frustration but, if we look at it objectively, the mishaps you had to face in the last month are not a proof that you are “destined to fail” (I’ve been destined for much less. I’ve been destined to not succeed.). They are just temporary problems, which you’ll recover from (but do check your leg and get proper treatment if necessary!) Even if you fail this one exam because you didn’t have enough time to prepare, you can pass it next time, which I assume is in a few months from now?

What I am saying is that in reality, these mishaps aren’t so huge as to come up with such dramatic conclusions, such as that you’ll never make it in life. However, what could be the reason for such pessimistic thinking is that you adopted a false belief about yourself, e.g. “I’ll never succeed”, “I am destined to fail”, based on the experiences you had so far in life, starting from your childhood. You said:

I had lots of unlucky moments in the past, but I don’t remember much of them very easily, I just remember them vaguely.

And also:

my father had to torture me just at that time, wasted my 3-4 days of productivity and slowed down my focus.

Perhaps you have a demanding father, who makes your life harder, not easier? Also, if you had lots of “unlucky moments” in your childhood, and no one to help you and protect you, you would have started believing that you have bad luck and are destined to fail, because there were these outside forces (be it poor treatment by family members, or adverse outside events) all lined up against you, and you feeling helpless? And so now, when you encounter an obstacle, you start feeling helpless and desperate, even if it’s something you can easily resolve?