Dear Leah:

Good to read back from you and you are welcome! You shared today that almost 2 months ago (July 2022), you left your ex-boyfriend a 3-page letter, he left you a poem and a flower, and you had no contact since.  You are living in your father’s home (your stuff still packed in the basement), going to therapy twice a week, receiving a naturopathic treatment for your gut flora, doing yoga and meditation almost every day, and you just started anti-anxiety medication. You are doing better and feeling more stable in the last few weeks.

“Since the breakup, somehow, my anxiety saw a HUGE improvement. I was able to go to social events and new places with little to no anxiety!“-

– very different from how you opened your original post on June 24: “Very desperate for some clarity and peace“, and not surprising because the relationship with him produced a lot of anxiety for you:  Relationship=> Anxiety; No Relationship=> No Anxiety, or more accurately, as you put it, “it (the anxiety) doesn’t stay very long and it’s less intense“.

Congratulations for conquering the challenge of attending a wedding in a place you don’t know, with a lot of people and for dancing the night away!!!

“It feels like the real me is finally emerging. This version of me that was locked away deep down, suffocated, is beginning to regain her freedom. I’m curious to find out what more I can do“- reads wonderful!

“With all of that amazing transformation, my old habits are still strong. Self-doubt, low self-esteem, social awkwardness, procrastination“- humans by nature are creatures of habit, and the nature of habits is to persist. It takes time and practice, with the right attitude (motivation, realistic expectations, patience and moderation) to instill new habits that will replace the old. The real you who is emerging will make it happen!

“I’m terrified to make those big steps… right now I’m focusing on completing my school work. I’m learning to give myself time and space without feeling guilty about it“- excellent! Focus on the small steps in front of you today, not on the big steps in the future.

“At first I took all of the blame for the breakup, I felt so guilty, and like I was a horrible person. I’ve since learned to view this as an equal situation. I made mistakes, and he did too” – absolutely: the two of you brought about the ending of the relationship. The two of you made it happen.

“I am now on a journey of growth and discovery…  I am working hard and learning a lot about how to better live my life, and hopefully, how to do relationships better. I have taken the lessons I learned here, as well. I want to be able to govern my emotions better, express them in a healthy way, but don’t let them control my actions…“- I am impressed and inspired by how you are taking charge of your healing using a multidisciplinary strategy: psychotherapy, naturopathic therapy, pharmacotherapy, yoga therapy and meditation therapy!

I would love to read from you anytime, read about your journey and the emerging real you!

anita