Dear Eric:

You are welcome! “1)…. Any of those boys can text her anytime, and she might get swayed… I hope this isn’t counted as an obsession“- yes, it is counted as an obsession. I referred to this obsession six days ago (see my Oct 12 post) as the “potential rival obsession”.

“I believe males need to be decisive isn’t it. It’s because every time I hang out with my friends, I’m never the one deciding where to eat. I’m just the follower type“- because you are in the habit of being the follower type, it will be difficult for you to change and become the taking charge type, ex: the one deciding where to eat. It will take intentional practice on your part. Find the opportunities to practice (at home, when you hang out with friends, and with her), and practice.

“well yes, i believe she’s also new to this “dating” thing… but if we both plan to ‘have a relationship’, I believe there should be some flirting, otherwise it’d be just a casual hangout with a friend“- give her a compliment next time, tell her that you like  something about the way she looks (you can word a compliment ahead of time). When you compliment her, maintain eye contact and have a sincere smile on your face.

“But isn’t it weird if I’m a guy but I have these kind of ‘hobby’ like her“- no, it is not weird. (If you argue with me in your next post that it is weird, I will have to refer to this item as an obsession.

“She has a sister that’s a year older than her and she is currently dating an experience guy…  (do sports, manly activities, has lots of friends), and she’s close with her sister and that’s making me worry“- worries/ obsessions for you are like fires: when you  extinguish one fire, there’s a new fire,  you extinguish the new fire…. there’s the old fire burning again. Isn’t this how it is for you, Eric?

anita