Dear Tee

Well, I think you should first heal the emotional wounds that caused you “severe heartbreak” and “emotional breakdown” after your first girlfriend broke up with you. (I assume she broke up with you, right? Because you were the one who suffered immensely afterwards…)

– You are right. I move to a relationship too fast. I’ve had some read up on other articles, I’m kinda like having a rebound relationship right now. I should have healed myself after the broke up, that way I can move to a relationship more sensibly. Yes, She broke up with me, everything ended amiably.

When we have such a strong reaction, being debilitated by pain (I can’t describe the pain just that I was very vulnerable that time, anything bad happen will trigger my emotional breakdown), it means that your feeling of self-love was very weak or non-existent. And when your girlfriend broke up with you, you probably felt not just unloved but also unlovable.

– Thank you for pointing out. After some times and recollected those days, I was aware of these; weak self love and self worth. You’re absolutely right.

Your girlfriend was maybe meeting some of your emotional needs, and when she left you, you might have suddenly felt like a child all alone in the world, with no one to give him what he needs, no one to take care of him. Does any of this ring true?

You said that after the breakup, you had no one to talk to. Which means that you don’t have a strong support system, consisting of family and friends, and you probably very much depended on your girlfriend to give you what you need. Without her, you might have felt lost.

If any of this rings true, I think your priority should be to heal those emotional wounds, i.e. meet those unmet childhood needs, before you start looking for another partner, or commit to your current girlfriend. I would start working on myself before changing anything in my current relationship.

– It is true. Working on myself is going to be a very painful process. I wanna be firm on my position right now and decide which path I should go. It’s gonna be brutal to myself  🙁