Dear Tricia:

The two of you were friends for 7 years before you started dating. While dating, he cheated on you with another woman, having a relationship with her for 6 months without telling you. When he did that, he betrayed you not only as his girlfriend, but also as his friend (the two are the same person: you!)

“he told me that we wants to be friends and I just cannot do that after everything that has happened“- my position is that to consider friendship with him, he would need to acknowledge his betrayal of your trust, sincerely and deeply apologize for it, and make amends to you, such as pay for therapy for the two of you together and attend it for a few months or so. If this is too difficult for him and/ or for you, then no friendship should be considered.

“I feel so stuck and want to move on but I’m really having a hard time doing so and seeing him this week feels like such a setback…  Does anyone have any advice about how to let go?“- grieve the relationship. There are quite a few internet resources on the topic, such as psychology today/  grieving the end of a relationship. Here is one I like even better: power of positivity/ Therapists explain how to grieve the loss of your love relationship. It includes “11 ways to take care of yourself as you grieve for the love you lost”. Can you look these up, patiently read through, and let me/us know how you feel about what you read?

anita