Dear Lukas,

in addition to all the great input you’ve already received, something occurred to me that might be relevant for your situation. You say:

my parents never valued anyone more than an other, they are the real Buddhists without knowing, truly beautiful people.

i cant manage to be happy with what i have – which is plenty. I can manage this in nearly every other Situation but not in this. And it really dissapoints me with myself that i am this “unnobel”

When you say your parents were “real Buddhists without knowing it”, it occurred to me that perhaps you were brought up with the idea that you should be happy with little, and that seeking material success is not very noble, not too enlightened? And when you see your brother achieve that material success, you’re jealous, because a part of you would like to be successful too, but another part believes it’s wrong to have it?