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November 30, 2022 at 5:02 pm #411031
LemonTreeParticipantThis seems like a dumb question. I have a few favourites. But my favourite is the rabbit. Probably because I was told by the kids that I look like a rabbit .. I have got a high-pitched voice and big teeth, so that’s what they told me.
I am a cat person. I would love to have a cat .. But the place we’re staying at right now is quite small, and we’re still moving places quite a lot.
My partner is more like a dog person and he thinks I am a cat, I would scratch his face if I was really a cat. Just annoying in his words
December 1, 2022 at 10:00 am #411060
AnonymousGuestDear Lemon Tree:
No sincere question is a dumb question!
If I may say so, I enjoyed reading your intelligent, organized, thorough and responsible replies to other members, as well as your original post here, on your own thread. I learned that you are somewhere in your later 20s, an open-minded cat person with a high pitched voice and big teeth (or so you were told), did very well in medical school but left, and you live with a partner who is a dog person and likes to play computer games, the two of you living in a small space and been moving a lot.
As to your question: in a way perhaps, I am torn between being a cat person and a dog person. On one hand I like to be left alone a lot, to live my life on the principle of to-live-and-let-live (congruent with having a cat), and on the other hand, I really like the wagging of the tail and high sociability of dogs.
* I very much like what you wrote in a reply to a member: “I do not agree that anyone should be defined, or limited, by any diagnosis that they have received at any point in their life which could well just be an opinion of an expert that is not approved by other experts that have other opinions“!
anita
December 1, 2022 at 3:35 pm #411075LemonTreeParticipantDear Anita
Thank you so much for your response. I saw your other posts as well. Your replies to other members are thoughtful, sincere and show that you have great sensitivity to others’ emotions and you can pick up things really well which together with your careful analyses have given us some of the most amazing feedback as to how we can grow emotionally and spiritually so I would like to say thank you very much for that. You are such a gift and I admire you.
You are absolutely right about that, you seem to know me so well! In fact I was working with children before, and some of them compared me to a rabbit (yes, I am aware of my teeth, and I have a got lisp as well, due to the shape of my teeth) and I said to the kids, yes, how about that, I am a rabbit and I like that. Then they started saying that I look like an owl.. Because I let them choose the stickers and one the girls said she likes the pink owl it is pretty with big eyes and it is pink, and I would look good in pink, so she wants to take it home, she likes me very much ..
I think we have a lot of things in common 🙂
December 1, 2022 at 3:54 pm #411077AnonymousGuestDear Lemon Tree:
What a delight reading your post: not only because of your kind words for me (thank you!) but because of your humor and child-like wonder and imagination, which the children you work with much appreciate, I am sure! I hope to read more from you here in your thread and elsewhere, and communicate further.
anita
December 3, 2022 at 11:34 pm #411274LemonTreeParticipantDear Anita
Wondering how you are doing?
You seem to be a really kind and nice person so would like to know more about you 🙂
What do you do for a living?
Also I can see that you’re an active member on this forum.. I guess it is because helping others gives you a sense of purpose? And it might be part of your healing process as well?
I don’t remember how I discovered this site. I think I was looking up some random topics like how to deal with stress from work etc. Somehow I came across this site, where I read a few articles, and then I saw this forum, which I think is quite a nice place to know about each other (and perhaps ask/answer a few questions that might help each other along the way)
Look forward to hearing from you.
December 4, 2022 at 8:10 am #411282AnonymousGuestDear Lemon Tree:
Thank you again for your kind words. I am very active in the forums because it is part of my own healing-learning process, and I hope to promote the same in others. You asked me what I do for a living: for some reason I don’t feel like answering this question and I don’t think that answering it here has any value. Do you?
anita
December 4, 2022 at 11:31 am #411292LemonTreeParticipantDear Anita
That’s alright 🙂 I was asking questions as an ice breaker. But if we’re not comfortable with it then we don’t need to talk about it. That’s not a problem at all 🙂
How do you think that it has helped you with your healing-learning process? Or is there any othe topic that you would like to talk about?
I’m on my way to work now and I think it might a busy week for me. Let’s keep in touch
December 4, 2022 at 11:38 am #411296AnonymousGuestDear Lemon Tree:
Thank you for your flexibility! I will reply further later. Have a safe travel to work and yes, let’s keep in touch.
anita
December 5, 2022 at 9:07 am #411347AnonymousGuestDear Lemon Tree:
You asked me how my participation here helped me with my healing process: it helped me learn, and learning, in this context, is synonymous with healing. The better I learn about others, I better I learn about myself, and the other way around. It is amazing that although so many of us feel different from others, we are so much alike. Also, I get to practice courage and assertiveness, as well as being kinder to people. I learned that kindness and mental health go hand in hand.
anita
December 6, 2022 at 1:28 am #411391LemonTreeParticipantDear Anita
Thanks for your reply. For me you have always been kind and I believe being in a difficult situation and still being able to see the kindness that is in you is something that is not easy to do. I think it takes courage to focus on the good, and I agree with you that learning is a part of the healing process. In fact it means that you’ve done really well in this process so you have the time and space to take other people into your life and to appreciate their thoughts and support them through tough times, which is not easy to do. So you’re doing great 🙂
I have recently started a new job. I would say I have come full circle and it is a good thing for me. Back to where I started but with a greater understanding of my true self.
It is a long story. But I’ll keep it short 🙂 When I was studying medicine I had some really bad experiences.. it still stings a little bit when I think about it so I would rather not go into the details. Also I grew up in a dysfunctional family like yours so I only started to feel better when I moved overseas where I could distance myself from the memories that I seemed to hold on to that I knew wasn’t doing any good to me. My father’s passing was such a great relief for me. I feel that there is less pressure on me to do what he wants me to do. I’ve worked in education and did a little bit of accounting as well. I think it is due to me being an overachiever. So after a lot of discussions with my partner, and after many unsuccessful attempts, I eventually found myself in a sales position at a charity that offers free of charge hospice services (I no longer have anything to do with the clinical side of things. I’m so glad! I have had enough).
I have never been happier in my life. I work well with my manager and the other team members. I have never felt that I could be so in my “elements” like I was made for this job. Talking to people all day actually makes me more energized. And helping them to find something that want that they absolutely cherish as it is for a good cause makes me feel that I’m doing great. I’m learning something new about people every day through observations and interactions which was impossible in all of my other jobs as I wasn’t getting any pleasure from it. I feel physically tired after work. But mentally I’ve never been in a better place. I insist that university is not what I need. It is not required for the jobs that I like.
December 6, 2022 at 7:08 am #411395AnonymousGuestDear Lemon Tree:
Thank you for your kind words. I know that you Lemon Tree, are engaged in the healing-learning process because you wrote in a reply Nov 30: ” I am still learning about myself, and I think it is a journey of self-discovery that is totally worth it“.
Congratulations for your new job, a sales position at a charity, where you are learning: “I’m learning something new about people every day through observations and interactions” (Dec 6)- the verb learning is in both sentences, learning about yourself, in the first; learning about people, in the second.
You shared that you grew up in a dysfunctional family, and that you started to feel better when you moved overseas, away from the memories. Back on Nov 30, you shared this about your childhood: “I never really got what I wanted, yet I was forced to ‘listen’ to the grown-ups, and if I failed to do what I was asked to do, then I feared the consequences which could be ‘huge’, i.e. I grew up in an environment where we’re ruled by ‘intimidation’“.
Today, you wrote: “My father’s passing was such a great relief for me. I feel that there is less pressure on me to do what he wants me to do… me being an overachiever… I have never been happier in my life. I work well with my manager and the other team members… mentally I’ve never been in a better place“- (1) being an overachiever is perhaps a leftover from the pressure put on you by your father..? (2) you have never been happier primarily because you are having positive, safe interactions with the people in your life (managers, other team members, customers, your partner): no intimidation, no pressure, no danger… is that it?
anita
December 6, 2022 at 8:09 am #411387
ReginaParticipantThe Lion.
They observe. They’re often quiet but they’re observing. They’re beautiful. They’re beautiful and majestic, bold and fierce but you want to hug them. They’re strong and never to be underestimated.December 7, 2022 at 1:10 am #411446LemonTreeParticipantDear Anita
Thanks for your response. It is always nice to hear from you. I think you’re mostly correct. I don’t even know I’ve mentioned the word “learning” so many times. But yes, I guess there must be a reason for that.
I guess being an overachiever is something that I has been told since I was a child by my parents and teachers as well. It is something that I am conscious of, and my friends get “jealous” as well. When I applied for jobs sometimes I got rejected as well, due to me being “overqualified”, etc. Also I can appear quite cold (I am really compassionate, I can’t change how I look! But I try to smile a little bit more, so I look more confident and once people get to know more about me, they know I’m quite nice 🙂 ). Yes I think I did not have a safe environment and I have had a lot of bad experiences, especially at school and at work, I guess, where I tried to use the same thought patterns that I had when I was a child (i.e. my family is not safe for me). But it could be that I haven’t actually found a place that is good for me regardless of what has happened to me as a child. I always a sense of danger. I’m like a merekat so I’m hyper alert all the time, this is what I have been told!
December 7, 2022 at 1:12 am #411447LemonTreeParticipantDear Regina
Love your words! This is a beautiful description of the lion, I believe it could be a description of who you are as a person as well 🙂
How are you doing?
December 7, 2022 at 3:58 am #411450
humourParticipantI like cows. I like watching its innocent eyes.
I also love watching baby elephants playing.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 