dear Anita

our conversations affect me positively and the shame within me is a little less im happy to hear it. there are  few people who can understand these family dynamics , not that its uncommon but its so painful to see it for what it is than they choose to close their eyes and numb themselves and im glad i found someone to share it.

 I was hurt and very disturbed by her behaviors, but no one ever said anything about it except three times in my case nobody saw anything wrong specially about my mom except my family members , my dad and my sister specially . my dads story was different , he was aloof and arrogant and pissed off a few people , but no body told me he is bad news either, i learned it by myself . as you wrote your note 2 days ago he would do what was easy and convenient for him , when he got married , her wife was and is always a drama queen  and in dividing  people , and he accompanied her , because of fear and i believe he was enjoying it too .that was undeniable that he was not a good guy after a while , i was very depressed and was taking like 8 tablets per day for anxiety ,depression and anger outburst in few years after my moms death and i couldnt discern between him being a jerk  or me exaggerating what i was experiencing  i coulnt rust myself and he used it . but when he got married , from not telling me and further problems we had ,it was obvious for me that he was  a bad father . to be honest i wouldnt care for her wife , she was as i said a fifty some thing , that time, who was competing me , she was a low life in my opinion , not anything going on in her life based on what she was fighting about , but my dad was making  her such a big person to hurt me and put me down maybe because i wasnt a good wife figure for him  when i learnt about my dads disorder , i learnt to react to it much better , i also had a studio downstairs so i could live without dealing with them all the time when i came back from university . if i didnt have that independence these 2 would make me crazy , im sure about it . her idea of good life is me being inferior to her and serving her and make my father  insult me in front her .and he was more than willing to do it . when he got sick , she basically mentally checked out my brother and i was taking care of him and his wife was going out with her family , in that time her brothers was visiting , she didnt even cook anything for my dad because he had no appetite , im serious . well i think they deserved each other . one i moved out from my childhood flat 2 weeks ago , she tried to contact me and get me to invite her over to stay with me , she mentioned it indirectly a few times but for what  i learnt about her she can be so demanding and delusional to actually expect me to that for her . she is scared alone , im so worried about her , lol .

one thing about her that i hated was some people who knew about our relationship basically used it against me , maybe they didnt believe what she was doing because she should herself as a very loving person , very innocent and quiet , but they not only didnt believe me , they wanted to make it clear that they dont , including the aunt i talked about very posts older , the one who wanted to fix me with a very low class guy, my brother didnt also care until now that he is in the receiving end of her nastiness , i was so tired to have her in my life even when she is not physically and others used her as a weapon , so i cut ties with all these people , and i blocked her number too .

congratulations for educating yourself and making it difficult or impossible for him to successfully inflict his mind games on you. Indeed, Knowledge is Power yes exactly and thank you

i hope it wasn`t too long for you and i would be happy to hear your insights too .

farnaz