Anita, thank you for responding right away. I appreciate it, and appreciate you being here.

Yes, my friend buys my groceries and medicines. I am better but still afraid to go out because one time I went on balcony and felt worse. So I am at home for almost two weeks now. I am planning to go out tomorrow though.

It was: “better to leave him and not take him with us” sorry, I  misspelled.

What if you figuratively go back to where the kitten was left, and pick her up, take her with you and take good care of her… take really good care of the long-ago lost Joanna?

How do I do that?

I thought it would feel better after I face this memory. Maybe it will tomorrow or later. I wrote it all down in order to read it tomorrow, calmly. Maybe it will help me.