Yet you didn’t want to be with her during a family function when she asked (wasn’t your scene or whatever nonsense you tell yourself)

= i dont understand this statement, she only invites me once to eat with her family and i attend it…

I’m trying my best to work on myself. I’ve been living my life in a lonely environment, it isnt easy for me… Whenever i wanna have an improved society life like my friends, i always have disadvantages than them… like my family dont get along with my dad’s siblings… Whenever i have the chance to approach a girl from a proper family i’ll always feel insecure with my family… i try to bear with it but it’s hard…

Even at home i dont interact much with people at my house, it’s very lonely…. Whenever i feel warm in a gathering i’ll always feel so happy as its not the lonely feeling i always felt….

I’m also trying to be more mature by learning from experiences and also improve my working skills… but it needs time, and right now relationship got me hurt, so i have to improve myself while getting hurt everyday….

This is my first time in a relationship so im inexperienced… but im trying my best to maintain and improve it….

But you are right i dont trust myself and i dont trust her… i need to work on that… Thank you for the reminder…