Dear Katrine,

This was the thing i feared not being with him is bad enough but knowing that this girl is getting what i want is the worst.

I can imagine it feels bad… but try to remind yourself that you don’t really want what this guy has to offer. He can’t give you true love, caring, appreciation…. in short, he can’t give you a healthy and stable relationship. He is still fighting his own demons, so he has very little love to give.

I gonna try not to expect things from him, he been weird around me almost the entire time we’ve known each other he wont change around me now. There’s clearly something that makes him react like this only he knows the real reason why.

Yes, he has been weird. You’ve been trying to figure it out, and I too was coming up with all kinds of explanations. But at the end of the day, we don’t know why he has behaved like that and what’s in his head. Only he knows that. The only thing you can do is to let go, even to let go of trying to understand. Again, it’s important that you know it’s not your fault and not your responsibility.

It hurts and I know this will take time, I’m counting down to him leaving then it will be a lot easier.

I was thinking about you and what seems specially hurtful is that he was indeed showing interest in you during July-Sept. He was treating you differently than other girls, and it wasn’t all in your head. And then, when you finally approached him, he denied that he was interested and said “sorry, I don’t see you that way”.

So in a sense, he denied your reality – something that you’ve already experienced with your sister and parents. And not only that, but during those 2 months that he was showing interest, you hopes went up, you got more and more attached, and when he denied it all, no wonder it hurt so much.

So I just want to say that I understand how hard this is for you… Please know that none of it is your fault, and that you didn’t do anything wrong.

I hope you can stay away from him as much as possible and that over time, you’ll be less and less affected by him.