@helcat that is exactly what I feel he should be saying. I am supposed to be his chosen family. I have cut off family members of my own for less than that. Toxic behaviour ,when you allow it from one person, seeps into your other relationships, speaking from experience.

To be honest it’s more the principle that he allows and enables toxic behaviour towards me that he KNOWS hurts me. It makes me worried about the future.

Outside of this, the relationship is pretty good. We have some smaller issues to work out (we’re both in therapy) but generally, it’s more good than anything else.