Hello Tee,

Yes, That’s right. I don’t know why I was always under the assumption that a romantic interest would understand me and fix me but I don’t think its a feasible solution to achieve happiness. I’m also not content with my career and life. I have been very ignorant and carefree about them. I also have social anxiety when I’m at a public gathering and have some self esteem issues. I’m working now and fixing them one step at a time. Sometimes it scares me to a point where I think I should just quit everything and become an ascetic monk for the rest of my life. Recently I have been studying books about Buddhism and I think Siddhartha experienced these feelings too. I feel a bit better now to be honest but the last couple of months have been terrible, I caged myself in an endless pain and suffering with alcohol, cannabis and cigarettes (Currently, I’m sober for a month and I feel a bit better) . I’m doing a bit better now with good sleep, food, meditation and mindfulness.