Dear Caroline,

welcome back! 🙂

What you describe as love for this girl 7 years ago seems to me more like an idea of love, an excitement you felt, strong feelings you had… but all that happened in an undefined relationship, where you didn’t even know if you were dating or you were just hooking up. Am I assuming this right?

There was no communication (We did not really communicate and there were lots of misunderstandings), you didn’t talk about the status of your relationship and what you are to each other.

As a result, you “cheated” on her, not knowing you were cheating, assuming she was seeing other people. And then she got hurt, and that’s how you “broke up”.

You think what you felt for her was love (But what I thought then is that I loved her. And now after all these years I think I did love her, that this was love). Well, I believe that even if you loved her, this love wasn’t expressed as it should have been, because it was never communicated properly, and then you cheated on her.

So if it was love, it didn’t seem like love (at least on the outside), and it was mixed with other feelings as well. You did say you had your own issues and trauma, while she was into drugs. So I can imagine it was complicated and there were lots of difficult feelings…

This spring, happiness, love. I miss it and she was there.

It could be that you’re not happy in your current relationship, or with your life in general. And you miss excitement, and the feeling of “love is in the air”. And this makes you daydream about her?

So to me, it’s more like a symptom of something missing in your life and/or your relationship, rather than a sign that you should reach out to her.

What do you think?