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Tee,
It’s a very good, uncomfortable at times, but good feeling to be able to understand my emotions.
“it does seem like you were hurt, and the fact that you admitted you hooked up with someone else twice was your way of revenge, to express your anger and hurt.” This is exactly how I felt.. It gave me satisfaction to hurt her. I am very embarrassed to admit it but it’s true. And I regret it. I waited so long for her to want to meet me and when I finally did I was full of grudge towards her mixed with happy and relieved to see her. She shaved her head short before this meeting. I knew she was going through things but.. none of us helped each other. We just abandoned each other, and were as far as we could be.
“Okay, so you’d like to feel passion and excitement – something you don’t feel in your current relationship? … Is it because your girlfriend is not interested in romance and would maybe find it silly?” – Yes, I think so. She wanted to but couple of times I did not. And now we kind of stopped doing this. And now it became more like.. making a fool of myself when I say or try anything. Maybe she thinks the same.
“You daydreaming about you ex is just a symptom” I agree, it’s probably the reason.
So I assume, Tee, you think nothing good would come of from texting her? I should just focus on my relationship because probably my obsession has nothing to do with my ex girlfriend..