Hi John,

She is getting on with life and living life to the full and seems to be in a happy place.

But does she have a partner or she is single?

I must not cause more distress with promises I can’t deliver.

I agree, it wouldn’t be fair to meet her and try to restart the romance, when you know how it will end…

When I am calm and rational and we are in a good place, the promises seem to be the easiest thing to deliver but the calm rational thinking gets completely destroyed by my irrational, subconscious, side which I can’t control.

Yes, and because you know of this mechanism, I think you should have as much integrity as to not want to initiate it again. Even if you believe your subconscious is stronger than you and prevents you from leaving your wife, that’s one thing. That’s your life. But if you drag her into it, that’s already two lives affected.

I know that it’s her who is ultimately responsible for herself and her actions, however, it would be easier if you wouldn’t tempt her. And you could probably stop yourself from doing it, in spite of the “siren call” of your subconscious mind.