Dear Eric

As I see it, it is not your decisions that are the problem. Until you have dealt with the anxiety and overthinking that appears to run your life, the peace, contentment & happiness that you are constantly chasing after will always elude you.

Staying grounded in the moment instead of second guessing past decisions and worrying about hundreds of different possibilities of the future especially the negative ones. The practice of mindfulness ,tai chi, yoga etc are designed to bring you back to the present and allow your mind to rest from the torment of being dragged into the past and future.  The zen story on you tube good bad who knows?, may also help.

Dear Eric

I cant answer for your god.

Who knows how you will feel about your decision to post that photo on social media in six months, six years six decades from now.  You were happy when you posted it and now you are not, So the photo or posting is not the source of your  lasting happyness or  lasting anxiety.

I think it is your anxiety that is making you feel that this relationship is hard work & that in turn does make the relationship hard work for you. Get professional help with anxiety as a whole rather than dealing with each little thing that occurs as something major.  Also get professional help to  deal with your attachment of not being good enough and comparing yourself unfavorably with almost everyone else on the planet. No one person has it all or is perfect all the time, no matter how they portray themselves on social media. Spending too much time & putting too much store in social media is not helping with your issues in fact it feeds your suffering.

I get a  daily good email which helps broaden my perspective and I am not on facebook etc.

Dear Eric

So prior to this thread about posting photo and  relationship status on social media you had never circled in anxious thoughts and over thinking about anything?

I am not an expert but it seems like you have relationship anxiety /ocd. You have to start trusting yourself and your partner. You have to accept the fact that whatever happens beyond that is not under your control.  I am going to therapy for my ocd/anxiety. My therapist told me that these thoughts/obsessions are not under your control. The way you react is under you control. I understand how it feels these thoughts become so obsessive. Recently i have had thoughts of losing my partner. They were so obsessive that it made so anxious . I said  to myself/ocd let it happen.Whatever may happen i will be fine. People with ocd always look for certainity or want things to be under thier control. So you have start trusting yourself and accept the uncertainity.some things are beyond your control. i know its hard to accept the worst case scenario. But the ocd always latches on what ifs.You might have posted her pic online.How your friends going to react is not under your control. May be try talking to your partner about your insecurities. If you dont work on your obsessive thinking then Ocd might latch on some other decisions that you make.Ocd stems from not feeling good enough.  So thats the reason you will always feel insecure no matter what. start working on yourself. Find a therpist who knows ERP.