I will definitely keep posting here, I do really enjoy talking about it in an odd way. Some of my friends actually told me to just drop as it was getting quite old for them. I can understand where they are coming from as they see the situation from a different perspective and don’t have that investment that I did. They can see that she was no good for me but I still miss her. I almost feel like I’m chasing a high and I would go through those lows just for that high again.

You spoke about being down and daydreaming earlier, I spoke to my psych about a similar thing. I almost enjoy that feeling a bit as it is real pain and it not something I always experience. It’s like I force my mind to really feel the emotions and dig deep to bring it all up at times like this. However it can be destructive if I delve into it too much.

I was thinking today how the relationship changed overtime and how it got worse after each break up. It’s like I was punished for being comfortable around her and towards the end I wasn’t comfortable but I still didn’t want to loose her at any time during our relationship. People don’t know what they have until they loose it, I think is the quote. I feel like I knew what I had and that I could loose it very easily.

Considering what some of my friends have said do you think it will come to a point where I am just holding onto nothing and talking about it too much? Have I already crossed that point? My friends were very supportive and I guess they think talking about it isn’t helping me heal sometimes as I go too deep into it.