Dear Gavin:

You are welcome.

“I am supposed to be a fairly bright and rational man“- we are animals after all, mammals, and therefore.. we are primarily- not rational beings- but emotional beings. When strong emotions are in the way, the rational factor goes down the tubes.

This is why I suggested to you, in my last post, that you express your strong emotions with an attitude of empathy for yourself, so to lessen their intensity and control over your life.

“I miss her deeply but my stupidity and short sightedness of the future took her from me”- it is very sad, Gavin, that stupidity and short sightedness of the future is the Rule in our very troubled world, as it is now, not the Exception, and the results are devastating on a mass scale.

“Now she has a new life and I am in utter misery and will be for the foreseeable future… It hurts so much. It really hurts”-

– I am sorry that you are hurting, and that you are hurting so much. You feel no hope for the foreseeable future in context of a relationship with her, but if you discover new hope in a different context,  a new meaning, you will have a new life yourself, and you will feel better than you have in the longest time.

anita