Hi Anita

Yes, it’s true that we never actually did anything about our future instead of talking about how things could be. I thought our pacing was always appropriate and I was so sure about how serious he was about me that I didn’t push future plan talk, and really didn’t want to anyway yet because I wasn’t ready to do anything too soon either. I was hoping to get on my own feet before including him in anything financial or contractual. Perhaps I should have pressed him harder when he’d joke about our future together so we could have had a chance to have those conversations and I could have had the truth sooner. It would be nice to know if he ever saw a future with me or not as he claimed he didn’t after the breakup. The closure I want will not ever happen, I know.

Also, thank you for your patience and understanding while I work through all of this. I can see from an objective point of view that the Talk vs. Action Factor makes sense, but my emotions haven’t caught up to that yet. I appreciate you validating that I am needing a lot of time to process my feelings, no matter what anyone thinks. I still just stare off into space daily trying to understand and accept that this person didn’t care about me as much as they seemed to. And even if they did care, my absence gives them more peace than any desire for reconciliation. He’s entitled to that and to change his mind, but I sure wish he had been more connected to himself to let me know sooner.

I hope that you keep your stress level as low as possible and that you are physically okay. — Thank you, I am trying. There’s nothing I can do about the lump in my neck aside from just wait and try not to worry about what I can’t control in the meantime with that situation.