Dear Josh:

(I am adding the boldface feature to the following quote): “For a long time I have wondered what self-control really means…  I consider myself… enslaved to my own (instinctual) emotions and impulses… I can understand, know, recognize and think about how what I am doing is wrong, without being able to stop myself from doing it… I am torn about the reason why I cannot trust myself… I procrastinate heavily, normal household tasks are difficult and more personally, I often indulge into internet pornography. These are things I heavily regret during my everyday life… I do not trust myself that I can follow through on what I think is right. I feel as a slave to my own impulses that overwrite any rational thought that I may have”-

– maybe (?)  when you were growing up, Wrong and Right were confused: what was supposed to be Right resulted in Wrong.  For example, let’s say that you were told by your father that hard work is a very positive value (Right), but then you saw him working hard and suffering for it, getting injured or his health suffering (Wrong). Or let’s say, your mother was passive and submissive and your father considered it to be Right, as in her being a good wife, but he repeatedly cheated on her and she suffered for it (Wrong).

Fast forward, you are not motivated to do what’s considered Right (ex., household chores), and instead you do what feels Right in-the-moment (ex., internet pornography).

Anything like that?

anita