Dear Seaturtle:

You are welcome! I just returned from a 3.5 mile walk with freezing hands and was excited to see your post, and that it starts positive.

“As far as chakras go, personally I am not sure whether they are physically real or more of a metaphor that helps us to understand our multi-faceted human selves“- exactly my understanding: it’s a useful metaphor that helps us understand how we operate and function. I am glad you re-introduced it to me as I find it very useful, thank you!

“I am curious enough about them to discuss it, I don’t want to get too abstract though, because ironically my aura color, an abstract concept, says I am likely to be abstract and need to practice grounding, which feels true to me. I feel like what I just said was confusing“- confusing only to those with a low vibrational IQ (a chakra-snob emoji)

“but where I am coming from is that I don’t want you to only speak in terms of chakras for me, because I understand your skepticism and I feel the same way“- I still feel it’s an excellent metaphor and I like using it. Is it okay with you if I use it in your thread as a metaphor?

“I remember feeling this way, that if we were in end times of war, or going through some natural disaster, that N would be the perfect partner… He would say he didn’t find conversation to be a bonding activity, he wanted to do or build something together. I can agree that accomplishing a task together is bonding, but I needed him to be able to get there with me through conversation but he was incapable. The funny thing is I recently thought of this, if we entered war times I would really want him by my side… I think? He is a good partner to have in survival mode, but not much further up Maslow’s pyramid”-

– (1)  N is mostly about satisfying Physiological needs and Safety and Security needs (at the bottom of the pyramid). He teflons the top of the pyramid, the Self actualization needs part, while frustrating your Love and Belonging needs as well as your Self-Esteem needs. At end times, when nothing matters but  the bottom two parts of the pyramid, N would be a fine and dandy partner.

(2) He didn’t find conversation a bonding activity means that he finds conversation undesirable or boring or threatening. Humans have to talk and bond through talking if we are to self actualize aka keep our crown chakras awake and awakening!

“What is also interesting is I began to feel like he wanted these obstacles to happen… So he would put us in risky situations! wow.. like the road trip that bonded us…  my desire to just sit and have deep intelligent and intimate conversation, he thought it was pointless, he would rather be faced with danger together.. Which! is interesting because I feel like if you are dealing with issues in survival mode, you can’t also be self actualizing and evolving. Wow I am putting things into words right now that I have felt a long time…   I felt he began to resent me for not being in survival mode with him, in fact he even told me before that he felt like he was stuck in survival mode for us and I was living in a ‘la la land’…he was holding me back.. because he was trying to. He literally made me doubt myself so much! He made me doubt my process of introspection and self actualizing“- amazing crown chakra vibrations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Imagine that deep, intimate conversations are more scary, in his mind and heart, than real-life danger!

“and this is where he didn’t SEE me! I so desperately wanted him to see that I was working hard too, all this internal work that I was doing, and him saying ‘you worry about things that don’t matter’ literally was him telling me he did not see me… He made me believe he believed in me and I didn’t, I was the problem. I am so happy I got out of there”- YES, I am also happy that you got out of there!!!

“Anita, I am excited for you to read this very important post where I was able to put so many thoughts and feelings that I have had over the past two years, into words. Vibrating Seaturtle“- your post made my New Year Day, W.O.W !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anita