You’re right.

I guess because problems were few and far between, i could easily forgive and forget and move on despite the withdrawing. Funnily enough, he would be willing to resolve once i’d lost my temper and stormed out. He would always be the one to come and make the first move at repairing. Not sure why.

Since his depression has got worse, the more problems it has caused I guess. I kept quiet for a long time but then eventually I started to become quite impacted by it myself so it made me want to voice my needs more, which has then caused a vicious cycle.

He has agreed to go to private therapy, which I have arranged for him, so that’s progress, right? It’s psychodynamic  therapy too so really going to delve deep into his childhood.

We spoke this morning, where he said he was upset because he just wants things to ‘go back to normal’ – i wanted to ask if he meant before he started doing all of these mind games, or just before I found out about it.

Hopefully the therapy will teach him how to stop stonewalling, and learn how to communicate more effectively.  I have always said that communication is the key to a healthy relationship. And he used to agree. I would like to say the proof is in the pudding there. Because his lack of communication over the past year has brought us to this point.

You are incredible for being so active on here and helping so many people, even just actively listening and repeating their words back to them to show you really have listened and absorbed has probably saved more lives than you know.  You are an asset on this Earth Anita. Thank you.