Dear Blazkowich:

“Everything changed after the passing this is why I am still hopeful that she’ll return“- You are hoping that once enough time passes from the time she lost of her cat, once she adequately grieves the loss, she will be back to the way she was with you prior to the loss (“she would get depressed sometimes and stonewall me for 2-3 days“), which is better than no contact with you at all. Do I understand correctly? Would it be okay with resuming a relationship where you are being stonewalled for 2-3 days at a time?

“I can try to be there as a friend if the relationship is the issue”- Question is can you succeed in being there for her as a friend; can you hold back all romantic and physical attraction to her and be there for her as a platonic friend in-practice, day in and day out over a potentially extended period of time?

“Honestly I don’t know what to do anymore or even if there is something I can do, but I would prefer waiting over moving-on from this relationship and the thought that she can do something harmful scares me even more. What would you suggest?”-

– I don’t think that you are emotionally ready to move on, so I wouldn’t suggest that you move on. As far as trying to help her as a friend, before I suggest more, I will wait for your answers to the above, and ask you one more question: did she express suicidal thoughts to you or to anyone else, any gestures in that regard.. and is her drinking and getting drunk a usual occurrence, best you know?

anita