Dear Blazkowich:

You are welcome. You answered that you are okay with going back to the way the relationship was, but you’d be hoping that it’d change, that you are able to keep a relationship with her platonic, that she got drunk only once, and that you don’t think that she is suicidal.

“I would be lying if I say that I want to stay connected for any selfless reason, ever since the breakup I am unable to sleep or do any tasks“- you read like an emotionally honest person, and you are indeed grieving the breakup.

“I am afraid if she gets into drugs… these things can harm her in other ways. Am I being too concerned here?“- it is encouraging that she doesn’t have a history of alcohol and drug abuse or a history of suicidal ideation and gestures. On the other hand, there is no predicting what a person would do. If she got back with you and seemed to be doing well for months, it’d still possible that she’d seriously, even fatally hurt herself. There is simply no predicting.

I don’t know what messages you sent her which she ignored. I think that sending her a typed message on paper, like a traditional letter perhaps, might make sense, a message where you express your willingness and promise to be a platonic friend and nothing more, no matter how you feel. No expectations, expressing your genuine concern for her and offering to do specific things for her so to help her, practically helpful things to make her life easier at this time, and/ or asking her what kinds of practical help she needs help with. I wouldn’t suggest therapy for her because she already rejected that, r anything else that you already suggested and which she rejected.

What do you think of my suggestion?

anita