Dear Blazkwich:

“One thing which keeps bothering me is that before the breakup she said she’s just tired and exhausted and doesn’t wanna try anymore. And the very fact that I am here caring for her is burdening, I keep spiraling and thinking should I have not done that? Should I have not tried to support her or offer any care?”-

– likely, the relationship would have ended for one reason or another because relationships often end. Even decades-long relationships too often drastically change and end for any one reason or multiples of reasons. It is a reality that we have to accept because (like the serenity prayer I quoted in my first reply), we can’t change this reality.

In regard to what I boldfaced above, it is true that when one person in a relationship cares too much about not being abandoned by the other, repeatedly asking for reassurances and overreacting to the other person, that it becomes burdensome. It may feel for the young woman in this case (I imagine) as if she has a responsibility that she does not want to have: to reassure you, to calm your worries.. like having a young boy in her life, and having to mother him…

Does this make sense to you?

anita