Dear Seaturtle:

Good early afternoon- a week at the most to being NTF. Likely, you already are, given that your skin cells probably grow faster than most people’s, given your high vibrations!

Less icky and higher spirits reads good to me! No reason then to bring back the ick topic. I’ll leave it for now with that green cringing emoji of yesterday.

“To be part of the fear, deceiving and hiding, I wonder what this lead to inside my body and outside in my expression/ personality“- a girl in a cage, blocked chakras, deteriorating mental health.

“To stay in fear you have to ignore your gut?“- when we are afraid for too long, cowering, submitting to fear.. we become gutless (gutless= lacking courage).

So then by listening to your gut your annihilate FEAR?“- ahh.. if only fear could be annihilated! it can be weakened or managed with courage, but not annihilated, not for as long as we’re alive.

“I craved him shining light on me“- it’s dark in the cage, and a relationship with him necessitated you being in a cage, in a dark cage.

“Last night my roommate admitted, ‘I did notice while you were together that you didn’t seem like the girl I once knew in high school, and now away from him it seems like she is back.'”- maybe she meant the light/ higher vibrations are is back to your eyes, face, voice, the words you use.

“I don’t remember my high school self a whole lot…not necessary events but of feelings.. Is there a way for me to get more familiar with myself in that time?“- sometime when you are relaxed, maybe listening to music you liked back in high school, or looking at photos of yourself back then, sit in front of the computer, imagine that you are the girl in the photos and type away whatever comes to mind. You can start with competing the sentence: “I feel_______”.

“the little girl I nanny (my new job right now)“- congratulations on your new job, Seaturtle the Nanny.

“I want to shine more light on me!… I struggle to enjoy ‘light and fun’ when there is something that needs to be exposed, whether it is me needing to bring light to something… I got the vibe that he was bored… I once tried to explain to him that talking about deeper topics energized me, and he said they drained him..”- 3rd eye and crown chakras incompatibility

“Smoking started to make me have negative thoughts about him, so I stopped smoking, then drinking did it too and so I had to stop drinking most of the time with him“- the weed and alcohol did not shut your 3rd eye. It kept vibrating and seeing through the smoke and the alcohol.

“He very very rarely gave me physical compliments, I got more compliments from random people on the street then I did from my partner… The compliments never came… I said ‘babe why don’t you compliment me? I know you think I am beautiful but do you realize how much if would mean to me to hear it from your lips?’ his response ‘But If I tell you how beautiful you are, you will leave me’“- bingo! He wanted you to stay in the cage..! The spider wanted you in his web, alive but not strong enough to fly away and leave him.

“When I was first telling him about moving out he did not want me to and told me ‘I could just seem myself pulling away if you move out.’ I feel like this was a manipulation tactic to try to get me to stay, making me fear losing him and deciding to stay”- I agree.

“My roommate… pointed out how strange it was that he would act like nothing happened, even the few times she witnessed this. She said I remember you saying you guys had an argument on the phone and an hour later he was at the apartment behaving as if nothing had happened… not saying anything can be just as manipulative as saying something“- I agree. His behavior suggested that.. nothing happened. But something did happen.

“When this sort of thing happened, and I did bring it up, he would basically say to get over it. So then I would come to this thread and try to see how to get over it, by seeing how I could be projecting F onto N…”-

– please do get over him, Seaturtle, over him and his manipulative, low-vibrational techniques!

anita